located in the north part of the soul, where the wind blows away dark thoughts, people sink their feet in the sand, eat lots of chocolate and nobody minds the rain.

numbness is bliss

i went home for the easter holidays. [home is just an excuse. home is a hostile planet with a thin atmosphere that suffocates you slowly. home is the place you go to hide and the place you constantly run away from]

i oversmiled just because it sustains someone else’s happiness. i ate a carrot. drank beer. cried a little. climbed a mountain just to lie in the grass for 10 minutes and turn back. parked my car without any trouble.  i went to a tanning studio so i can look good in the slightly obscene pink dress my mom bought me. i got my ass kicked at badminton. fed a squirrel. had meaningless conversations. cooked. cleaned. and a bunch of other things i wouldn’t see myself doing. [sometimes the fact that i exist is based solely on reflex. ah, inertia, thou art a great replacement for a life]

i gave up. for a while at least. i blew off all the impossible dreams along with some dandelion seeds.

for now, i’m just trying to quit my self-sabotaging ways. [i’m numb. and it feels better]